Pet Therapy and Courage

Pet Therapy is a powerful thing - here is a picture of my schnauzer Winnie who takes her duties very seriously....

Thanks to my bloggees for all your lovely comments on last blog - I sense the demand is growing for Vincent in nurse's uniform so think that will have to be the focus of the "Christmas Special" blog..

Hello to any Dynamo bloggees (thanks to Chris for persuading Media Square that I am not "porn" and that the blog could play a role in educating people about breast cancer) - here is a bit of education...

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but (apart from the obvious checks and regular mammograms etc) if (like me) you ever have a mammogram which is slightly "dodgy" (in that it shows some calcifications for example) find the top breast surgeon in your City and get a second opinion. Although I insisted on a biopsy (which was clear) I think that if I had bothered to seek out the top breast surgeon in Cape Town she would have kept me under much closer observation and caught the cancer at an earlier stage. Early stage cancer usually needs minor surgery and radiotherapy - mine got to stage two and needed major surgery + a year of unpleasant treatments...

Some people have said to me that I have a lot of "courage" - I have been reflecting on this as I don't see myself as a particularly brave person (I still hate needles!). If somebody had said to me in August that by the end of the year I would have lost a breast and all my hair I would have freaked - but somehow (mainly through the love of family and friends) you cope... When I was first diagnosed I did start having thoughts like "I am 55, have had a wonderful life - maybe I will just have to let go..." but the will to live is very strong and it didn't take me long to decide to fight this thing and hang around for another 30 years or so - to be honest I always fancied being an eccentric old English lady ;-)

On a lighter note I bought some tiny jeans yesterday - its fun being a thin person for once - as my son said to me all I need is a feather headress and a gold bikini and I will be ready for my "comeback" tour a la Kylie... maybe I won't go for the world tour but I will certainly be ready for a damn good party once the treatments have finished! Talking of which I am going under (chemo) for the third time on Wednesday at 9.30am so think of me...

Love to all bloggees and keep those comments coming - they mean a lot to me
janet xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hot hot hotter!

The corporate websites who block my site because they think I am "porn" will definately not like this title...

Have had worst week so far in terms of chemo reaction - just as I thought I was coming through "chemo week" I was struck down with horrible fever and could hardly walk. When it got to 102 degrees we called doc who then sent a fast car containing a scary woman with a big needle to take my blood. Needless to say she "couldn't get a vein" (which for me who hates needles is the worst part of the whole thing) but finally managed to get enough blood out of me to take it away for a blood count. Apparently the chemo attacks white blood cells which protect from infection so they need to know whats going on before prescribing antibiotics - anyway I got my drugs and everything cooled down a bit but man were we scared :-(

Like Vincent says this is unknown territory for us - what is dangerous, what is a normal reaction etc.. we are learning fast but its a long and hard journey..

Apart from me collapsing our pets both had an allergic reaction to some anti-tic lotion so after being up all night with the three of us Vincent had to rush them to the vet - he now wears his nurse's uniform full time - promise a pic in due course - am attaching a picture of our Schnauzer
Winnie as a change from me looking croc - she is straight out of the hairdressing saloon so looking particularly gorgeous...(and does she know it!)

On the positive side I am getting used to my bald head although can't really bear to touch it and havn't "gone public" - however am getting a dab hand at tying Afro-chic headscarves which (I think) look quite good - although we ended up in a very conservative (ie white) restaurant last week-end and all the South African Madams were looking down their noses at me as if to say "shish did you borrow the maids scarf or what?"

My weight is down to 51 kilos which normally would be a cause for great celebration but I appreciate that its not the best thing to become a bag of bones right now - occasionally Vincent changes his nurses outfit to French chef outfit in order to rustle up something special to "tempt my palate"..

Must go now - love to all bloggees - send me comments!
janet xx

PS What a great week in politics - Pik Botha is dead and George Bush is a "lame duck"!

buzz cut blues

Hair has been falling out in handfuls so decided to "take control" and get my lovely hairdresser round to give me a "buzzcut" - swallowed a tranquilliser, washed down by a glass of white wine and let him do his worst - was a bit like the mastectomy in that I couldn't bear to look in the mirror for ages but with lots of TLC from Vincent I finally looked - felt like an elf - never realised my head was so "pointy"... Thanks to a joke that Mandy sent us Vincent is now well aware that the secret of a happy marriage is to "always tell your wife she looks pretty" - even if she looks like a truck (or an elf?)" - this pearl of wisdom comes from an 8 year old boy who will surely make somebody a wonderful husband one days..

Not sure I will ever venture outdoors "bald" - there are lots of stunning black bald girls around but have never seen a whitey carry of this look! (although Sinaed O'Connor's song "nothing compares with you" does keep going though my head.)

Lashes and brows are next to go - Linda please bring me some from UK if you can still find them - I used to wear false eyelashes 30 years ago when I was a mod in the '60's and can still remember the technique!

Medically speaking things are stabilising. The swelling around my implant has subsided although the implant now needs a slight adjustment as far as the position goes - this is a minor surgical procedure which will take place after last chemo - also plastic surgeon wants to have a go at the other side to ensure perfect "match" (I had better not go into too much detail as some corporates have already rejected my blog as porn(!) - must be that naughty word "breast" I suppose...

I have changed oncologists as my first one seemed more interested what my medical aid would pay for than what I needed to survive. My new oncologist is a lot more experienced and has already applied for a years course of Herceptin for me - I have upgraded my medical aid cover so fingers crossed..

I had my second chemo to day and am feeling quite perky but know that tomorrow morning will be grim + following couple of days. I will take to my bed and read my trashy books and plan the "treat" which is first thing we do when I am over the chemo - predictably involves lovely restaurant and spending quality time with our pets.. I am getting my exercise plan organised - did yoga today and will swim and walk..

So thats me - hanging in there as you can see - send me your love and your news and post your comments!

janet xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx