Chemo'ed!
This is me after 6 cycles of chemotherapy - no hair, no brows, no lashes, no strength - and (hopefully) no cancer cells either. The frustrating thing about this illness is that after treatment the docs. don't say "OK, you're cured", they just say "you have finished your treatment and now have to come back every 3 months for check ups" - am sure I will be a nervous wreck at these "check ups" - in fact I just had a liver scan and was so relieved when they said it was fine. I have read "Untold Stories" by Alan Bennett recently (thanks Linda and Vicky for both buying me this!) and he talks about his three month check ups as being "golden parcels of life" handed to him each time - a nice analogy and encouragement to enjoy every moment.I have 25 radiotherapy sessions to get through now and they start on Monday. I have already been "tattoo'd" - in preparation for this - I always kind of hankered after a tatoo but was thinking of a nice butterfly on my shoulder - not black dots around my boobs!
The spiritual journey continues.... we are heavily into Reiki and Yoga - had our first djembe drumming lesson last week and signed up to a Mind Based Stress Reduction Course (MBSR). The MBSR course consist of 8 evenings + a full day when we just sit there in silence all day. Am already quite stressed wondering how on earth I will manage to keep quiet for a whole day or cope without a book to read but we will see... Currently reading DeepakChopra as a first stab at the reading list my health coach gave me... talking of books I have just finished "No, I don't want to join a bookclub" by Virginia Ironside - its absolutely brilliant - all about a child of the sixties turning sixty - hilarious - makes me quite look forward to being sixty!
Thanks Connie for all your messages and thanks to Mandy and Vicky for taking up key positions in the "blog police" - maybe one of you guys can advise some of my bloggees (including the younger generation - hi Olski) who are struggling to post their comments due to annoying questions around "password not recognised" etc...
Am looking forward to Barbs visit in a few weeks and then Kim in April so the British girls are holding me up and giving me strength..
love to all bloggees - think of me while I am being "nuked"!
janet xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
posted by janet at 4:17 AM
2 Comments:
Hi there
You are one of the very few woman I know who can look graceful and feminine in just about any situation - and neither hair or eyelashes make any difference to that!
A friend sent me a thought provoking poem the other day, about finding oneself again, and I thought you might enjoy it too - it's by Derek Walcott entitled "Love after Love".
The time will come
When, with elation
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome,
And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Linda
x
Hi Janet, What an inspiration you are! To find the strength and energy to not just go on but to strike out in a whole new direction. It sounds as though you're going to have some fun moments in your search for the spiritual almost regardless of what you find.
You look great and I hope the next round of treatment does not make you feel too wretched. We're sending positive thoughts and love across the water-to you both and from us all, Wendy xxx
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